


Discord

by DefyingNormalcy



Category: Wentworth (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/F, post episode 3x01
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-15
Updated: 2016-09-15
Packaged: 2018-08-15 05:10:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,840
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8043754
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DefyingNormalcy/pseuds/DefyingNormalcy
Summary: An alternate outcome of the riot in 3x01, and of Joan and Vera’s relationship from that point forward. “She could still feel the cool metal of the blade against her skin. She could still hear the adrenaline-laced breathing of her masked captor. She could still smell the earthy metallic scent of her own blood as the blade had been drawn across her collar, up to the base of her neck.”





	Discord

**Author's Note:**

> Many heartfelt thanks to Ifitbelove for her suggestions and kind encouragement.

Vera stretched the palms of her hands out so that they lay flat against the narrow cot. The crisp cotton was rough against her skin, but she welcomed the feeling as she slowly rubbed her hands back and forth.

 

She felt a gentle hand tip her head up and apply light pressure to the cut against the base of her neck. She screwed her eyes shut as she felt the same hand swipe a wad of cotton dipped in alcohol across the wound. Next, she felt a thick paste being swept across it’s length and a bandage taped down onto her skin.

 

“No stitches needed. It’s surprisingly shallow, you’re very lucky,” a voice said from somewhere above her.

 

Vera nodded. She didn’t trust herself to do anything beyond that. She could still feel the cool metal of the blade against her skin. She could still hear the adrenaline-laced breathing of her masked captor. She could still smell the earthy metallic scent of her own blood as the blade had been drawn across her collar, up to the base of her neck.

 

Heels clacked authoritatively somewhere vaguely in front of her, they seemed to break her out of her reverie.

 

“Out. Now.”

 

Vera heard footsteps, then the sound of a closing door. She then felt smooth fingertips and perfectly filed nails under her chin. Gently, they lifted Vera’s head to meet cool brown eyes which were intensely focused on her.

 

Joan’s jaw was tight and her full upper lip was drawn in a thin, tense line. A few stray hairs had escaped her pristine bun and she was breathing heavily, signaling to Vera that she must have been in quite a hurry to get over to Medical.

 

“Are you in pain?” Joan asked softly. Her fingertips did not stray from their spot under Vera’s trembling chin.

 

Vera shook her head silently. Her lower lip began to tremble and her chest felt tight. The combination of Joan’s intense worry, the electric feel of her fingers on Vera’s skin and the weight of what Vera had just survived was suddenly all too much for her.

 

“You are safe now, I promise,” Joan said as she wrapped a strong arm around Vera and allowed Vera to fall forward, crushing her forehead against Joan’s immaculate tie and collar. Joan felt her heart flutter wildly Vera’s lips rested just above her breast and as warm, silent tears seeped through her uniform.

 

“They were going to kill me,” Vera said, the words felt alien on her tongue. “I-I thought that I would never see you again.”

 

Joan ground her teeth together until her jaw trembled in protest. The significance of Vera’s statement was not lost on her and on her brisk walk over here, she had already drawn up exquisite plans to make the women who dared threaten her deputy’s life pay dearly. In the hour since she’d caved into Vera’s captors, Joan had been battling with herself over whether or not it had been the right decision.

 

Had she been right to give into the raging panic that gripped her heart when she saw this dainty woman on the CCTV? Would the prisoners regard her differently now that she’d given in? Were her feelings for this woman a deficit in her that needed correcting? Did she _want_ to correct it?

 

As she felt her Vera’s tense limbs relax against her, it became resoundingly clear that she had in fact made the right choice. Vera’s breathing calmed and Joan suddenly found herself not caring one bit about what the women might think of this, of them. Joan lowered her head to rest her lips and chin against Vera’s riotous hair, it smelled of drying sweat and fear; Joan was, surprisingly, not at all put off by it. If holding Vera like this made her defective, then, a sizeable part of her didn’t want to be corrected.

 

Vera rubbed her cheek against Joan’s heart and inhaled deeply. Joan smelled so clean and inviting, like fresh laundry and citrus. Her own heart ached terribly as she contemplated that she had come dangerously close to never being able to see this woman again, to secretly share drinks with her on a weekly basis during one of their debriefing sessions, to see her dark eyes light up with pride at either Vera’s initiative or her obedience.

 

“As soon as your injuries have been properly cared for and documented, you are to go home and take the rest of today and tomorrow off. You will be paid for your time off,” Joan said sternly against Vera’s scalp.

 

Vera pulled back slightly and looked straight into Joan’s eyes. “I don’t want to go home,” she said in a tiny voice. “It’s so empty there. Please, I can finish off my shifts. I just need to get cleaned up, that’s all,” she pleaded.

 

Vera looked at her with such raw vulnerability that it took all of Joan’s strength not to scream at the younger woman to cease her display of such obvious physical weakness. To grab hold of either side of her slender, sinewy neck and shake her until she found the strength and defiance to fight back.

 

Jianna had looked at her like this once, and Joan had foolishly fallen into her trap. She wouldn’t make the same mistake with Vera.

 

Vera hastily wiped her damp cheeks. “I won’t disappoint you, please,” she repeated.

 

She was so, _so_ eager to please. Those grey-blue eyes were alight with unconcealed longing to make Joan proud. Her entire body practically buzzed with the desire to see through Joan’s every command. It was intoxicating.

 

Joan let out a ragged breath. “I insist that you go home today at the very least. I will call you in the morning and assess if I feel that you are ready to return to work.”

 

Vera’s eyes fell and her cheeks flushed. Nervous hands tucked unruly curls behind her ear and she nodded bashfully.

 

Joan sighed. “Vera, look at me.” She waited until her little mouse obeyed. “I am not doing this to punish you. I am doing this because I care about you - about your well-being,” Joan amended, looking marginally flustered, “and I will not have either one of us put that in jeopardy.”

 

Vera’s ears prickled at Joan’s choice of words. _I care about you._

 

“I understand Governor,” Vera said as she sat up a little straighter. She pushed down her fear and her rage at today’s events and regarded Joan with a sense of calm and obedience.

 

Joan shivered at Vera’s use of her title. She licked her suddenly dry lips and cleared her throat. “If you are up to it, perhaps I can come by later this evening to check up on you, hmm?” she asked. She felt her palms begin to get sweaty and her face get hot.

 

 _I won’t make the same mistake with Vera,_ she reminded herself angrily.

 

Vera’s entire face softened and her eyes sparkled. “I would welcome the company,” she said sincerely.

 

“Right. Good,” Joan said briskly. Her collar was suddenly too tight and Vera was suddenly much too close for her comfort.

 

“Joan?” Vera placed a hand on Joan’s forearm. “I nearly died today. Experiencing that...it puts things into perspective. I just want to say that I am very grateful for your friendship, and had I...well, I just want you to know that,” Vera finished, blushing terribly.

 

“Right, well, I appreciate all that you do Vera. You are an indisposable asset, and,” Joan fumbled over her words, “and I have grown very fond of the time that we spend together after our shifts,” she said with considerable awkwardness. Joan winced at her clumsy attempt with words.

 

Vera smiled brightly and rubbed her thumb against the pristine wool of Joan’s uniform jacket. She couldn’t really explain why she did what she did next. Perhaps it was the reality of her own mortality, which she had been faced to confront today. Perhaps it was the adrenaline pumping through her veins after being given a new lease on life. Perhaps it was Joan’s endearing attempt to hide what Vera could obviously now see were deeply concealed emotions. Perhaps it was the excitement of being this near to Joan, after silently yearning after her for the better part of a year.

 

Whatever it was, it emboldened Vera in a way that was both defiant and impressive. With only some hesitance, Vera leaned forward and brushed her lips against Joan’s graceful jaw and lingered for a moment.

 

“You will allow me to make dinner for us,” Vera whispered against the alabaster skin. She delighted in watching it turn a most lovely shade of pink.

 

Joan opened her mouth to protest but Vera was too quick for her.

 

“They would have killed me had you not made the choice to open that door. You will let me make you dinner as a show of my gratitude,” Vera said with a confidence that impressed both women.

 

“Very well,” Joan said. She pretended to check her watch and she straightened her jacket, effectively breaking the connection with Vera’s hand at her arm and Vera’s lips at her jaw. “I shall come round at 8pm?” At Vera’s answering nod and smile, Joan shook her head briskly. “Well, I will see you in a few hours time then,” she said as she made to leave the small room.

 

 _I cannot make the same mistake with Vera_ , she tried, willing her once-dormant heart to concede, but it was alight now with the promise of passion. _I cannot make the same mistake with Vera,_ she tried again, but it was hopeless.

 

“Joan?” Vera called, she waited until Joan turned around to regard her. “I am looking forward to it.”

 

Joan’s tongue darted out to wet her lips. The heat in her belly had burned a path up to her chest and was now beginning to spread out along her long limbs. Vera was looking at her like she was the only other thing that existed in this world, and, perhaps for Vera, that _was_ the case. It was unnerving how much the younger woman’s need for her rolled off of her petite body in waves, crashing into Joan tenaciously until she the day came that she’d finally conceded and willingly drown in it.

 

_Maybe it doesn’t have to be a mistake._

 

Vera noted that Joan’s nostrils had flared and for a moment, it seemed like she was going to respond, but she merely nodded at her before opened and closing the door once again. Vera’s hands found purchase on the crisp cotton of her mattress once again and she dared to lick her still-tingling lips; she flushed as recalled how soft Joan’s skin had felt under them, just precious moments ago. Laughter bubbled in Vera’s chest and escaped breathlessly, bouncing happily around the sterile equipment and furnishings. She was going to be alright. She was safe. No one would ever hurt her like this again.

 

Joan would make sure of that.

  



End file.
